The Awkward Leftovers

A good friend and I were recently talking about where we are in our lives, and it got me thinking "Hey I should write a blog about it, other people have to feel like I do". It's about where I am in life, and the various other places people are. As I get older ( I am going to stop sharing my age, seeing as I am about 1/4 dead) everyone around me is doing something. Most of the people  who I grew up with are married, and if they aren't married they are going on Missions for my church. and then there is me.  I don't want to get married right now, I am only twenty... And  even though I think it's so honorary I am just not in a place where I feel like that's right for me. So, where does that leave me? I am in now mans land,  I am the awkward leftovers that no one really knows what to do with. I am the fries that are left in the box after you've eaten the rest of your burger. You don't want to throw me out, but you don't really know about keeping me.

Then there are the people who know me and want the "best" for me. So they are always checking up on me.  I am constantly asked  so are you dating? And when I say no to that people pause and then ask so have you put your mission papers in then? And then I have to say, rather reluctantly that I haven't and I am not sure if I ever will. and then they get this look in their eye. Its a pitying look in their eye, and they awkwardly walk away, unsure what to say.  It's like they don't know that there is more outside of those two things. Or, it's not important enough, to actually care. And, it makes me sad, and also a little bit frustrated. Because I am doing something! Just in case anyone was wondering.  I have a lot going on actually.

 I am looking into international internships!  

I just kicked arse in my last semester of school, getting ridiculously good grades!

I got a job, and i am working 20 hours a week, on top of going to school full time, and I love it!!

I just got a new Wi-Fi enable DVD player, and I am so excited about it!

My baby sister got baptized!!

I found the perfect condo to live in next year!!

I am in love with my FHE family! They make me so happy!!

I have a serious addiction to the cat video called "Grinding the Crack"

I saw Les Mis and cried for 2 hours because of how beautiful it was. 

I failed a test, but for once I didn't have a panic attack about it. I realized that I don't have to be perfect

I guess that news isn't as exciting as mission calls or engagements, but it's my life. It's my failures, and my successes. It's me making my dreams come true.

I guess, what I am trying to say, is I don't want to be discounted. Me, and anyone else in my situation aren't any less important to the world, because we aren't doing one of two things. We are living the way we choose too. And, in all the hype around us of marriage and missions, we are being forgotten. We have voices too, we have believes and knowledge, and we shouldn't be forgotten. We shouldn't be discarded just because we aren't fitting into molds given to us. Because, if you haven't noticed yet, I have never fit into any boxes. I am to claustrophobic.

So, a huge THANK YOU to those who care about me, and take the time to know what is going on in my life, even though I am not doing anything special.