Ladies and Gentleman welcome back my eating disorders!

I have this friend! And she is BEAUTIFUL! She has worked hard to lose some weight, and she has always been rockin' babe! Anyway!  Today her tumtum (can you tell I have younger siblings) hurt. She was bemoaning this and some TOTAL B came up to her and told her that she needed to get over it apparently everyone's tumtums hurt when their pregnant. Now this, this got me thinking. And here is what I thunked (yeah, I went there):

WHY THE F WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT?

I felt something like this:

Now this has lead me to think.. What are five things people should never ask one another?! And here is the list!!

1. Are you  pregnant-- No I am not. But thank you for calling me fat...

2. Have you gained weight?  No, but you've obviously been taking STUPID PILLS since I've seen you last (Doctor Who reference).

3.  Team Edward orTeam  Jacob-- Honestly Can we just say Team this lady instead?

4. Are you going to eat all of that?-- Yo mofo! Don't question me!! I will SUPA SIZE IT if I want ain't nobody gonna stop me!

5. Romney or Obama? -- Seriously people, that is just asking to get a crazy as crack foaming at the mouth response, and no one wants that. No one needs that in their lives!? Do you want to get rabies, and force me to go on a Fun Run for the Cure (An Office reference for those of you who don't understand)

We should all just take Will Smith's advice and:

Now. For those of you who are thinking! "NO I have dealt with it all my life! I am sick and tired of the morons who surround me. I want something that will make me feel better. Something that while I could possibly get arrested for it, would make my life so much better!" 

This is my response:

Punch them in the face and move on.