General Relief Society Meeting

So its the dreaded time a year again, The General Relief Society Meeting. Now, I am sure these women are fantastic, and that some people love this, but I can't handle it. It is hard enough for me to sit still to watch a movie/ T.V. shows that I ENJOY, let alone the on going topic of: Pioneers, Our Divine Roles, and Motherhood. So I have a list for you all! Also! Thanks to people who are out there reading! I had fifty hits in 20 minutes the other day! Fifty! (Ironic I know). So my list

Thirty things to do When You are Supposed to be A Good Mormon

1.Read Fifty Shades of Grey and/or Twilight-- Yes I went there. 

2. Facebook- Which is it's own sort of agony

3. Blogging-Obviously.

4. Go out with your friends, REAL friends, not the fake ones

5.Get a tattoo-- ouch!
6. Childbirth (this is a maybe because I haven't actually done that yet)

7. Hiking- Yes I would rather hike

8. Get bitten/turned into a Zombie

9. Suffer through Testimony meeting

10. Spend a day with my ex-boyfriend-- Okay, this one is a stretch, I really don't want to do that ever. 

11. Walk 500 Miles, and then 500 More

12. See an R-rated movie

13. Stalk your gay lover
14. Walk to Missouri

15. Watch Doctor Who

16. Pick your nose, AND EAT IT! 

17. Play Wizards with the Lego Man (Granted, I want to do that all the time anyway)

18. Drink twelve caffinated beverages-- In progress.

19. Go to a Puritan Dance-- BAHAHA see what I did there!?  

20. Get into a political debate-- Yes I went there.
21.  Eat a whole pie, alone
22. Shave your whole body. Everything.
23 Get drunk, REALLY drunk (maybe that would make this go faster).
24 Sew a quilt - NEVER AGAIN
25. Learn to fly.. Without a plane, like with just my arms.
26. A vasectomy-- I realize this is impossible, but I would still rather.
27. Run naked across BYU Campus (bahaha can you imagine what the Mormon's would do!?)
28. Along with the naked running, I would skinny dip in the fountain between the Museum and the Theater
29. Texting while driving (Far away from Utah, and thus this meeting)
30. My Sarah's hair... I think that is what I am going to do.

Guys, I love my church, I really do, but Relief Society Functions make me cringe. I just need a coke, some chocolate, and a Vicodin... Just kidding about the Vicodin....