Millions of People Suffer From it Every Year!!

I have a problem....
And millions of women suffer from and through it ever year.Its acronym is R.S. but to common people it is called Relief Society.
Now before you call me a blasphemer and condemn me to eternal agony in the fiery pits of hell, hear me out.
I love my church, I love the gospel, and I love that I have something to believe in, I think everyone should... But the fact of the matter is:

I HATE RELIEF SOCIETY.

Now you may condemn me to the fiery pits of hell ;) or you could just keep listening, reading, whatever.  There is more to this story then the fact that I have an intense dislike for R.S. in theory Relief Society should be my favorite thing, and I should love hearing from people, and it's not even the people in relief society, for the most part people always give good uplifting lessons, and how extremely exuberant every one is that you are there (seriously it's creepy I don't even know these people) the real problem is... I just relate with boys better...Which I suppose is good since I consider myself extremely straight. But it creates a problem because, I just don't get girls. I don't get the constant crying, the relating of experiences, the crying, the constant reverence, the crying, the judging, the constantly and over the top sweetness, oh and did I mention the crying?

There must be something wrong with me, but I think it probably stems from the fact that my best friend growing up was Ovaltine Jenkins (Who someday I will explain in full to you all).  Ovaltine and I were inseparable from the moment he was born, until Minion came along. I think that it caused a problem, because I just don't get girls.

In addition to my not understanding girls I also lack the sit still and be quiet gene that all girls seem to have been given, but me.  I was pinning during Sacrament meeting today (What do you expect) and I found the perfect quote to explain me, which I have below.

 I am nearly 20, and I still have this problem. When I was dating Matt I use to blame him, because he couldn't stay still, but now... I've realized that I am exactly  the same way. I can't stand being restrained in anyway. Which is magnified in Relief Society because everyone is always so still, and calm and reverent, and then there is me in the corner barely containing myself, I fidget, I poke other people, I draw, I do everything to try to keep myself from exploding, but in all honesty some day I am just going to explode, and it is going to look something like this:

(obviously I am the Hulk)

Which is why I have come to my new conclusion. I should be granted permission to go to elders quorum. Someone has got to tell me how I can do that, because honestly,  it sounds so much better to me. I get to hear men sing (which in BYU is always a treat, honestly, if they would just sing at me all day I would be beyond happy), they aren't completely ridiculously reverent, because like me guys don't seem to be able to sit still for long periods of time. They don't get preached at about their "divine role of womanhood" (which actually makes me physically ill every time I hear and/or say it) and they are pretty much feel the same about seeing me at church as seeing me in a store, walking home, or on the moon. They are chill, they make sense, and for the most part they say exactly what they think, at least when they are talking to other guys. Oh, and they always seem to come out a lot drier then me after relief society because of all the dang tears. I would like to be allowed to sit in there and pinterest and draw, without being judged.OH!!!! And they get to wear pants (sign me up RIGHT NOW)... I love men,  I am glad that I don't have to live with just women for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong I love my girl friends, and I love living with Muffin, but the fact of the matter is, living with girls is to complicated, church with girls is too complicated, girls are way too complicated.  Relief society leaves me feeling like the famous phrase from Young Frankenstein. Get me out of here.  Let me out of here. Get me the hell out of here. What's the matter with you people? I was joking. Don't you know a joke when you hear one. Ha Ha HA Ha HA. Get me out of here! Open this door or I'll kick your rotten heads in! Mommy!!

Save my soul!

Julia