A New Phase

Life changes. We all know that. As I come to my last quarter in my junior year in high school so much is changing.

What do I do now? I have almost completed all my senior year work, and yet the likelihood of me ever graduating with my High School is little to none.

Summer is coming. The last summer I will spend as a child. The second to last with my family, as a child living in the house. How daunting it is to me that I am starting on my rounds of lasts. My last year of girls camp. my last high school year. My last year at home. How did it all come about so soon? I can still remember my first day in public school. I can remember the butterflies I felt as I walked into Mrs. McCauskey's room. I remember the exact position of my desk sitting next to Mick, and across from Josh. I can remember my first day at Kopachuck Middle School as a sixth grader, I remember shadowing Hailey and sitting in Mrs. McCausland's math class next to Isabelle. I remember my First day of High School. Walking up to Charles Wright Academy and realizing I still had four years. And yet those years have passed so quick. Here I stand. Almost done. How did it happen so quick? I will never know.

New choices are ahead of me. How to live my life. How am I suppose to make these decisions? I am to young. I need another 10 years... Maybe 20.

College is first, how to decide where to go. There are so many to choose from, and yet... I feel like maybe I should play it safe... Maybe BYU is where I will go. I feel like maybe I have to. Maybe its just where I must go. But yet... How did I become this. The normal mormon kid. my whole life I spent saying, BYU? Never. Utah? Never. And yet I feel like maybe, just maybe that is what I am going to end up doing.

Other less important things are on my mind though. Normal, teenage things. Why do I get so upset when people don't do what is right, or rather what I think is right. Why do I get so picky about people, why can't we just get along? I remember when Tad use to say all the time. WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG!? I would just laugh and say, life sucks. Now though I ask the same thing. Why can't she and I get along. Why can't I just be good enough? Why? I suppose the answers will for now be unknown to me. Hopefully someday though, I will know.