The Devil Went Down To Georgia

I promised a couple days ago that I would expound all my feelings about Missouri, and now that I have finished work and I have couple days off so here we go... 

The Devil, he lied. He actually came down to Missouri. Hell may freeze over in Michigan, but it is fully functioning here. Honestly I feel like the heat just never ends. But we will get to the heat later.

In being politically correct, and a nice person,generally, I am going to show you in pictures what Nevada, Missouri is like, and you can make inferences from there:

Yes, I have had someone tell me this is a good idea, and the Confederate flag is an normal here 

this is the Normal garb for Nevada, see even more at People Of Wal-Mart

Yes, I have seen this as tattoo

Also, it is very hot. So hot. Like 115 degrees hot. My house is so hot, that I don't even know how people who don't have air-conditioning even live here.  Every time I walk outside, I want to die. It is like swimming in a hot tub filled with sticky hot chocolate. Ew. 

And then there are the bugs:

June Bug

Tick- These are evil

Cicada- Okay I will give Missouri these, I love the way they sound. 

And last, but the worst. I had a Cockroach pop out at me yesterday at work, and I nearly died. 

 Now, I UNDERSTAND! That other people have have these bugs too and I have heard it over and over that Missouri's aren't that bad, but  they are to me. Because they are mutant and they are everywhere. The other day my mom was  was remarking about it, and she said  "I decided this is God's country, because every square inch is covered with his critters." Now see me, I think the opposite, it is the Devil's country because no one wants every living creature on God's green earth crawling all over them. Just saying.  

Also, I finally meet a real rapist! And while that doesn't seem like a good thing, I can officially say that I know someone on the FBI's sex offenders list... And while I know that they exist everywhere, I have never worked side by side one.. Nor, have I had him "joke" that he was going to kidnap my roommate, but now I realize he was being very serious.  It has literally, made me worry about every interaction I have with people. And also, I think I need to invest in pepper spray.

And last but not least the food I have learned about, and ways to catch said food. There is:

Who doesn't love a little Fried Raccoon? I Googled a picture of Fried Raccoon, but I was so horrified I couldn't if you want to see one, I suggest you look it up yourself  

Mmm Anyone fancy some frog legs? They are catched by going Giging, a process that I had explained to me but I cant quiet remember. Now does anyone else thing these look like human legs? gross. 

Some yummy squirrel perhaps? Now this was another one I couldn't post a fried picture of because squirrels are my friends... We even call them squirrel friends in my house... I just can't stomach the thought of eating one...

And last but not least:

 Then there is catfish, now I know most people don't find this odd, but what I find odd is how they catch them. It is called Noodling, or as most people know it Hillbilly Hand Fishing. Yes that Is right to catch them many people I work with stick their hands in barrels in the muddy lakes, and hope that it is a catfish and not a snapping turtle, or worse a water moccasin that bits them. 

Missour is so unlike anywhere I have ever lived. And don't get me wrong, it has its upsides (the gas is insanely cheap), but I worry that I will go back to school talkin' like I ain't never lived no where but down her' in the good ol' mid-west, with the gun totin' bible thumpin' hometown folk.